Time Heals

Historically, I always feel emotions very deeply. I write about this, as do others. Not the fact that Bipolar Disorder can mean extreme highs and lows; the fact that we actually feel our emotions on an acute level.

I have experienced the genuine love of friendships in the past few days; not romantic love.
My heart is very heavy; with love. I am at a point of perplexity. I never knew I could feel such a sensation.
I can not seem to find the words for this lingering emotion wrapping around my heart and soul for the past two days.

I am not manic; I am actually very serene. I am high on love and friendship.
I now know I will never let these friendships grow away from my heart ever again.

Blog: http://mercurialmindbipolarblog.blogspot.com/

I've just returned from a whirlwind vacation on the East Coast. My sister got married in Boston two weeks ago and S's family invited me to in northern Massachusetts (which went REALLY well), so we made a Northeast Corridor tour out of it and saw friends in Boston, Philadelphia, and New York City.

There is no quick way to summarize this trip other than to say that it has gone much, much better than expected. On top of seeing my entire immediate family- 8 volatile personalities prone to rampant in-fighting (referencing a term usually reserved for describing political factions is perfectly appropriate), I wound up being able to spend at least a few hours catching up with 7 people from different periods of my past

for my memory: B: MCD, DG - PH: SW - in HD: BC & ML - NYC: HG, KC, ZS.

These aren't just people; at one point I've called each one a close friend. 

My time-tested, emotional mathematical proof is as follows:

• close friend + my tumultuous past = graphic views through a shattered window of a chaotic young life 

'Views' puts it mildly; most of these people were dragged into the turmoil. Some - like the friend who flew in for my 21st birthday, only to find me unconscious on my bathroom floor after ingesting the small pharmacy I had meticulously accumulated in the back of my closet - were affected deeply. Understandably, not only did I lose touch with many, but others found it necessary to cut me out of their lives. I was toxic. Not only do I forgive those that had to; I completely understand.

During the weeks leading up to this current trip, each time a lost friend was not only willing, but excited, at the prospect of seeing me became a galvanizing shot of reassurance and proof that the old adage rings true: Time Heals
The above excerpt is exactly, exactly how I feel about all of my friends who have stuck by me or come back into my life. This includes people I saw and all of those I still have the honor of calling close friends. We may not see each other often, but they are all deeply loved and valued. This love is experienced so acutely it my eyes well up each and every time I think about how lucky I am to have the gift of such beauty in my life. My friends are my true family.